


Bring Colour to My Skies

by Bernthemall (BernThemAll)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, F/M, Louis feels really sorry for himself, M/M, Narry - Freeform, Sophiam, sort of, zouis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-12 21:45:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2125734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BernThemAll/pseuds/Bernthemall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Zayn have been in love for a long while now, but have never bothered to let the secret byond the five members of the band. But with Narry's recent coming out, the Zerrie wedding fast approaching and the recent Elounor break up, Louis life has never felt more out of control. Louis and Zayn need to come out, but first they have to deal with the obstacles in their way. It's a hard life. But at least Zayn is there to brighten Louis' life.</p><p>Title taken from Troye Sivan - Happy Little Pill</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bring Colour to My Skies

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my tumblr narryequalsforever.tumblr.com

"So," The interview asks with a mischievous glint in her made up eyes,"Who's single?"

Louis hates that question. Hates the topic. Hates the answer. Especially since the answer was different now. 

When no one puts their hands up Louis sinks further in his seat. Management had told him how this was going to go. 'Sit down, look happy and for god's sake keep it together.' 

As for the others, well, Niall and Harry had long since stopped trying to hide their relationship. The not-so-secret golf dates and the not-so-subtle references. (The 'I'd do Niall' was a mistake that was just waiting to happen). Liam and Sophia were still going steady of course. What with Liam's constant beach wedgies and loving stares... Louis misses that. 

And Zayn. Well you could see it in his eyes. Those pretty light brown eyes. He hadn't been happy since the arrangement had been made. Anyone could tell. Zayn and Perrie were supposed to be the powercouple, the ones in it for the long haul. But lately- Lately he's been distant. Miserable. And with the impending wedding, Louis doesn't think Zayn's going to last much longer with his feelings bottled up inside of him. At least, that's how Louis saw it. He might be a bit biased.

Louis remembers his mum's wedding, when he came back to find Zayn scowling at his pack of cigarettes. He looks so regretful, so.. sorry. He'd begged Louis to forgive him, to believe that 'It wasn't my fault!' and 'They made me see Perrie' But Louis wasn't upset. He could never be upset at Zayn. He loved him too much. He knew that Zayn wanted to be there and that if he could have been there he would have. He made made sure to reassure Zayn in kisses and loving smiles.

"I guess this means that you've all got a lucky lady?" The interviewer questions, "Well there's Sophia, Perrie, and Eleanor"-Louis winces-"But.. What about you two?" She urges Harry and Niall to fill her in.

"Well we're together." Niall says nonchalant. Harry grins and snuggles a little into his boyfriend's side. Louis stares at the couple enviously. But also with admiration. He wishes that was him and Zayn. He wishes he could have the same look of love and pride that Niall has when he tells the world that Harry is _his and his only_.

Louis' mind travels back to that evening with their management. The band sat on one side of a huge mahogany desk littered with papers and glasses of water. 

 

_"We want to come out." Harry said sheepishly, bringing his and Niall's clasped hands onto the top of the wood._

_The 4 managers looked at them with an eyebrow raised then shared and long look between themselves. You could see the fear and apprehension on the couple's faces as the group of their bosses conferred silently._

_After what felt like forever, one of them finally spoke to the pair._

_"Alright. We've all had enough of you two practically groping each other on stage. You can do it in your next interview."_

_Niall and Harry's faces broke out in wide grins as they thanked the managers._

_"Just be prepared for a hell of a lot of aggro."_

_"Of course. We're ready." Niall assured his boss._

_The man smiled and looked at the other three before asking, "Anything else?"_

_Louis threw a glance Zayn's way hoping for a sign. The look he got back was one that said 'do what you want'._

_So he did._ _"Can I- C- Can we.." Louis spared a distressed glance at Zayn. The younger man sighed and opened his mouth to help him out, before being cut off by another one of his bosses._

_"We know." She sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose, "And I'm guessing you want to come out too?" At Louis slightly hopeful nod she continued, "Well what do you want us to say? Of course, let's let the whole world no about how not 2 but 4 of the most famous boyband on the planet is gay? What about Liam? Are you going to tell us that you're secretly a woman because good for you all but that is too much of a scandal!"_

_Liam looked confused for a moment before speaking up, "I'm not transgender.."_

_The woman had an annoyed look on her face and snapped at Liam, "I know! It was an example," she hissed before speaking to Louis and Zayn again,"It's one thing to have one gay couple in one band. But two? Between the only two with the longest lasting relationships? This cannot come out."_

_Louis' heart sank to his stomach as his band slowly got up to leave. Tears threatened to escape his blue eyes and his shoulders slumped dejectedly. Zayn's hand had slid into Lois' by the time they'd left the room and Louis sighed half-heartedly._

_"It's okay." Zayn whispered into his ear then let his hand go and exited the building into the crowds of screaming fans._

_Never in public, Louis thought bitterly and followed after him._

 

Louis hasn't mentioned coming out since.

 ~~~

It wasn't a painful breakup. Not in the slightest. It was quick and painless and left a lasting rawness that still hadn't healed. Because even though Louis was so in love with Zayn, he loved Eleanor. So much. Eleanor was his double, but Zayn was his opposite. Eleanor was was the pretty Spring and Zayn was mysterious Autumn. Eleanor was awesome, she really was. And she knew how Louis felt.

That's why she'd asked to meet him. That's why she ended it. She knew that Louis loved her, she knew that he cared just not as much as he loved and cared for Zayn. Louis truly loved her for that.

 ~~~

Louis sits on his bed with his phone in hand. Normally he and the boys revel in their days off, making the most out of the only breaks they get from their hectic schedules. But really Louis just wants to sit in his sweatpants all day and cry about his failed love life. Louis' heart stops when he scrolls down towards a tumblr photoset entitled 'The Narry story in Twitter posts'. His eyes skim over the words and his envy grows with each post.

One string says;

@niallofficial: @harry_styles stop leavin your dirty clothes in my basket ya lazy ass!

@harry_styles: @niallhoran you can leave yours at mine if you want ;P

 

Louis has to scoff at their blatant lack of secrecy. He scorlls down a little more to some of the more obvious tweets.

@harrysgirl94: @harry_styles do you still think @niallofficial is the best kisser? 

@harry_styles: @harrysgirl94 @niallofficial Of course ;)

@niallofficial: @harrystyles @harrysgirl94 thanks haz , love you bro

 

Louis smiles and laughs to himself but stops when he hears a soft knock on his door. It opens slowly and the first thing Louis sees is a nest of black hair followed by a beautiful tanned face. 

"Hey." Zayn says quietly, staring into Louis eyes. Something gets to Louis when Zayn looks at him like that. Because even though zayn doesn't always say much (never says much) his eyes constantly told a story. And currently it was one of love.

"Hi." Louis smiles softly sitting up slightly and staring back at him just as intense.

"Um. Lunch?" Zayn asks gesturing outside. Louis nods and hops off of his bed, grabbing the black jacket on his chair. He walks towards Zayn but stops short when he closes the door and leans against it. Zayn beckons Louis closer. When he is close enough, Zayn grabs the material of Louis cotton shirt and caresses his waist briefly before resting it there.

"I'm sorry." And that's all Zayn says as he tugs Louis into him and holds him close. Louis snakes his arms over his shoulders and leans his body as close to him as it can go. He knew what he meant by that of course. He was sorry for the lies they had to tell. Sorry that he was forced to hide his love for Louis. Sorry that he had to pretend to be in love with some one that he had long since stopped caring for. Sorry that Louis had his heart ripped out by the only girl he loved so that he now everyone he loved was out of reach. He was sorry for eveything shitty in Louis' life. Louis was grateful. Louis is always grateful.

 ~~~

Harry, Louis, and Zayn sit exhausted on the large sofa on the tour bus, an oversized TV screen hooked up to Zayn's phone displays his fiancée's face as well as her three bandmates. The boys listen to Perrie talk animatedly about flowers for the wedding whilst the other girls make small contributions to the enthusiastic talk. They all show varying levels of disinterest, especially Harry who seems to have given up on listening and has opted for texting Liam and Niall who were on a shopping trip in LA. Louis feels like he's suffocating. He's trying to be supportive and interested- Hell, sometimes he seemed more invested in Perrie than Zayn.

Perrie had paused in her ramblings to pick out some potential suits for Zayn's groomsmen and Louis notices that Zayn took the opportunity to fiddle with his white iPhone. With a frown Louis checks his own that buzzed insistently on his thigh.

@zaynmalik: Love this wedding talk but a game of Fifa with @Louis_Tomlinson sounds better at the moment.

Louis struggles to stifle is laughter and kicks Zayn's leg which is discreetly interlocked with his own. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Zayn's mouth curl up into the ghost of smirk and he types a reply.

@Louis_Tomlinson: @zaynmalik I'm sure you'd prefer that I whoop your arse in a less embarrassing situation ;)

It was Zayn's turn to laugh and he does, in a short shout, earning a confused glance from the Little Mix girls. Zayn waves it off and urges them to continue. 

Louis smiles and presses a little closer into Zayn's side.

 ~~

The next few days are filled with wedding plans, guestlists and twitter conversations that make Louis heart beat that little bit faster. The feeling of deja vu creeps up on Louis every time he replies to Zayn's subtle tweets. Sneaky bastard. It was obvious that he knew what he was doing. It was an unspoken decision o follow in Narry's footsteps and go so far on twitter that they had no choce but to come out. The plan was risky, but Louis was willing. He smirks when a notification pops up on his phone's homescreen, expecting another sneaky hint in his latest post.

@zaynmalik: Had a fun time with @Louis_Tomlinson last night, never get's old :D

Louis laughs and buries his head into his pillow for a second, memories of last night flooding into his head. He pictures the lingering touches and the sweet nothings Zayn whispers into his ear as he sets his body on fire. Sneaky bastard, Louis mimics his earlier thoughts.

@Louis_Tomlinson: @zaynmalik Same here, how about another round today? I'll bring snacks! ;)

Louis hesitates slightly before pressing the send button. Was it a little to explicit? Would people see the real meaning? Louis shakes off the thought and hits send anyway. They'd get away with it.

 ~~~

Zayn frowns from his spot next to Louis as he refreshes his feed for the fourth time. Louis notices and nudges his shoulder with his own. He makes a face as if to say 'whats up' and Zayn shows him the problem.

"My tweet keeps getting deleted." He says, his eyebrows knitted together tightly.

Louis copies Zayn's frown and checks his own feed, "I don't see it either."

The pair brush it off and assume it's just a malfunction or something and return to their heated game on the Xbox.

 ~~~

Over the next few days, Louis notices that both his and Zayn's tweets get deleted before they can be seen. All but the innocent ones that is. 

"What are you doing to our tweets? And why are you doing it?" Louis demands storming into the management offices. 

Their heads pop up for a second before they all roll their eyes and continue with what they were doing.

"You know why Louis." One lady says in a bored voice, tying away at her computer.

"No. I don't. Enlighten me?" He snaps, pulling up a chair in the corner of the room.

By then, all eyes are on him and he is squirming slightly in his seat. He doesn't relent though, and crosses his arms over his chest and slumps back with his eyebrows raised expectantly.

"They were inappropriate and indiscreet." A man says. His voice stone cold and rigid. It sent shivers down Louis spine. And not the good ones.

"Inappropriate? Talking about hanging out with our best friends is inappropriate?" Louis scoffs.

"Everyone knows what you mean by 'hanging out' and we can't allow it to go on. You're ruining your image." The man sighs exasperatedly and continues,"Zayn is going to get married, you are going to stay out of it. You are not coming out."

"You can't do that! You can't force someone to get married!" Louis' voice rises a little and he sits up straight in his chair.

"Who said we were forcing him!" Another man hits back,"Has it occurred to you that Zayn wants to get married to Perrie and you were just his last fling before he gets tied down?"

Louis opens his mouth before closing it not long after. No. He hadn't looked at it like that. Zayn did look like he loved Perrie sometimes. And Louis did really love Eleanor when they were together, so why couldn't Zayn really love Perrie. Maybe even more than Louis. The thought scared him more than he dared to process.

Louis shoot his head and stood up, "You're off your head. He loves me and we aren't going to stop."

"So you're willing to put your band at risk? Your success at risk? For love?!" The lady from before squeaks disbelieving as Louis walks away.

He doesn't answer but instead he stops and looks at her for a second  before opening the door and stalking out. 

Once he's out of the building he breaks down in tears against the wall. He's in an abandoned ally so he knew he couldn't be seen properly. His heart is thumping and his head is pounding and thoughts are whizzing about in his head. If Zayn didn't love him like he loved Zayn, Louis wouldn't know what to do. He didn't want to sound like one of those obsessive co-dependent girls from those books but, god, he couldn't survive without Zayn. He makes an effort to dry his tears and stands up straight, dusting off his jeans, struggling to silences his sobs. 

"He loves you Louis." He whispers to himself as he scurries off to his car across the busy road," He really does." Louis realises then that he'd rather die than find out that he was lying to himself.

 ~~~

"ZAYN!" The shout startles Zayn awake from the well needed sleep he was getting.

He grumbles and yells back a disgruntled "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!" All the pressure from the wedding ad gotten to him and honestly he just needs a long sleep. Preferably forever. His life and his happiness is slowly fading and the only light he has is Louis. Louis is like a little flame in a sea of darkness. Thought always makes Zayn smile.

"It's Louis." Harry comes bursting in with tears streaming down his face and his phone in his hand. And just like that, his flame burned out.

~~~

The darkness is terrifying and no matter how long Louis tries to find light there's nothing there. He can hear faint voices, hushed whispers but the pain his body s feeling drowns out any other senses.

He wants to move, speak, listen but all he can find energy to do is lie there motionless, something that Louis hasn't done for a long while. He wonders briefly if he's dead. If this was him passing through to the afterlife, but concludes shortly after that no, he's never that lucky. Louis wants to be mad at himself for thinking like that but he can't. He can't help the feeling of disappointment of knowing that not being dead means being alive to witness all the shit he has to face when he wakes. That's how he ends up lying on his back in complete darkness wishing that the grim reaper would end his troubles.

That is, until he hears a voice. That voice. The one that makes everything feel better, even for a brief moment. Zayn's voice.

"Louis. C'mon love. I know you can hear me." His voice is small, and quiet, like he was convincing himself of his words rather than Louis.

Louis wants to shout, hug him and tell him 'Yes Zayn! Yes I can! I can hear you! And I love you!' but he can't move. He can't do anything. He wills death to hold off for a little longer because honestly he speaks _too bloody soon._  

"Louis, I love you y'know. Like real love." Zayn sighs and carries on, "Sometimes I think even more than Perrie. Actually all the time I think I love you more than Perrie. I should feel bad. But I don't. Because I know you love me too. You do..Love me...right?" 

The insecurity of Zayn's voice broke Louis' heart in two and he wills some part of his body to move as a sign. His brain seemed to favor his fingers. 

"I-" Zayn pauses abruptly and Louis frowns internally,"Liam!" Louis hears the chair scrape along the floor and realises that indeed, Zayn had gone. Louis heart sinks, only to rise again when more people came into the room.

"His finger! His finger moved! I swear it did!" Zayn says, happier than he's sounded in a while, his Bradford accent seeping through.

"Well, in many cases a patient is aware of what's going on around them and often tries to respond. The peculiar thing is that Louis seems to have responded rather quickly, especially with the injuries he's sustained from the car accident." Louis figures that that's a doctor he hears speaking and hopes that means that he'll be able to wake up soon. Of seems like the world is on his side today.

"Will he wake up?" Niall says. Louis is happy, hearing his voice, and has no doubt that Harry's there with him. It warms his heart that they're all there.

"Very soon hopefully. He seems to be recovering quite quickly." He can hear Zayn's relived sigh and Louis is so thankful that he'd gotten this doctor.

When they all leave, Zayn sits down and takes Louis' hand in his.

"Hey Lou. You gotta wake up soon yeah? We all miss you. I love you so much. I- I want to break off the engagement. But you've got t' wake up first yeah?" 

Louis doesn't think that seems to hard.

~~~

He wakes up three days later with a pounding head and a dry itchy throat. Nobodies there and the air conditioning made it feel like he was in the arctic and it left Louis wondering if he'd just dreamed the encounter those days before. 

His despair was shortlived though, when Zayn emerged from behind the door with coffee in hands and his dirty beanie on his head. He looked like he hadn't slept in days (or washed but Louis thought better than to mention it) It then dawns on Louis that no, Zayn hadn't slept in three days and yes, he had been here all this time. The thought makes Louis' cheeks heat up.

"Louis! You're awake!" Zayn puts his coffee down and runs towards him, faster than Louis had ever seen him run. He envelopes him in a bone crushing hug that leaves Louis struggling for air. 

"I was so fucking scared." Zayn mumbles into Louis shoulder as he cradles him securely, "Don't ever leave me."

"Zayn," Louis rasps coughing slightly,"Was it true?" Louis wants to say more but he can't speak and he motions for a cup water. Zayn obliges and sits back down at Louis side, his face the picture of confusion.

 "You...You said that you called it off. The engagement." Louis mutters, eyes trained on the soft creases in the crisp white sheets of the narrow hospital bed.

"Oh." Zayn says, his own eyes darting towards the floor,"I-I love you Lou. You know I do. I never realised how much I did until I risked losing you. So I-" He cuts himself off, as if he was battling with his better nature,"I told the fans. Everything. Management went ballistic but," Zayn takes Louis hands into his own and kisses them individually,"I don't care as long as I have you."

Louis is in tears by now and his shoulders are shaking, but he engulfs Zayn in a desperate hug and whispers "That's all I want."

And Louis' life is good after that. He doesn't get fired. He doesn't lose fans. Not that it would ever matter.

Because he'd always have Zayn. And no matter how dark life got and how much he'd want it to end, Zayn would always be there to bring the colour back into his life. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for www.greyflutterfly.tumblr.com because she got me liking Zouis that little bit more... Also on my tumblr narryequalsforever.tumblr.com


End file.
